• Get ready to get all the answers you need to get through your divorce with dignity and keep your mind, your money and your kids.

    I teach my clients that every divorce is actually three divorces in one. This is the place you can find the secrets to survive the three divorces: Legal, financial and emotional.

    My time tested and proven strategies will educate you, give you hope and ease your pain. I know you are frustrated, I know you have questions and I have answers because I have been there - three times! Read my story here.

  • Mastermind Group

    18 Mar 2014

    Are you feeling stuck in life and not sure what move to make next? Are you feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities, underwhelmed by your career or your life in general? If you feel lost, unmotivated or just have no idea where to put your focus, Masterminding can change everything!

    Masterminding is a technique used to get you unstuck and excited about your life! 

    Imagine clarifying your goals, setting action steps and achieving in an area of your life. Imagine having support, ideas and accountability to help you every step of the way. Imagine the utter feeling of joy and completion when you tackle your biggest obstacles. Life’s not as hard when you have support and clear guidance.

    A new Mastermind group is developing for local residents of the Red Bluff area and now is your chance to claim your seat! Now is your chance to get where you always wanted to be, with help and support from superstars in your community- Strong, intelligent women just like you who just need an extra nudge in the right direction.

    Who belongs in a Mastermind group?

    Women who:

    • have ideas and aren’t sure what the first or next step is
    • like to get support and support other women and hold each other accountable
    • are ready to cut the crap and find meaningful changes in life
    • are committed to their success and the success of others
    • aren’t afraid of change or to take a meaningful look at themselves

    This Mastermind group will meet for four weeks, once per week for two hours.

    In addition to face-to-face meetings, valuable worksheets, and a personal plan, all members will be given access to a private Facebook group to keep connected and offer support and companionship during the process. (many masterminds extend beyond the initial time frame and this group may choose to extend at the end of the four week period)

    That’s a TON of support and all for an initial rate of $100.00 for the first month

    If you are ready to get out of life’s shadows and grab a hold of your destiny, join this group. Don’t put yourself off another moment. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to do the things you have always wanted. This is your time to shine! 

    This mastermind will begin in April from 7:00-9:00pm and last four Wednesdays!

    • You can change your life
    • it’s easier than you realize
    • you can have fulfillment and feel complete
    • you are stronger than you know
    • you can have the life you want

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    I’m so excited to know that I’ll be helping you!
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    Announcing A Pathway To Your Inner Badass

    19 Feb 2014

    What do Divorce Coaching and Life Coaching have in common?

    EVERYTHING

    I’ve been getting a lot of feedback from my happily married tribe that they LOVE my no-nonsense, practical way at looking at life and they wished they could spend some time with me but they aren’t getting a divorce!

    After I got done scratching my head, I had an epiphany.

    The same techniques I use to help men and women ditch the drama in their divorces also helps them kick-start the lives they always wanted.

    Why on Earth wouldn’t I want to help EVERYONE I CAN?

    And so I am!

    Announcing a limited edition Life Coaching Triple Pack: Three One on One Sessions with me.

    These sessions can tackle any area of life that you feel wimpy and stuck…

    • Wanna lose weight or feel pretty again ?
    • Wanna launch your website and blog, but have no clue where to begin ?
    • Hate your spouse and wanna avoid my divorce coach services?
    • Are you so overwhelmed with life that you don’t even know what’s holding you back?
    • Are you in a life rut and need to figure out your next steps?
    • Are you trapped in your house because you lack the confidence to meet new people?

    Together we can tackle whatever is holding you back and kick-start your life!

    Three 60 Minute Sessions for Only $199.00!

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    That’s a fraction of what I usually charge and you will see a more permanent offer on my site soon at a high price tag, but I want to engage with some clients right now.  I want to help you breakthrough in your life and introduce you to your inner badass.

    I’ve only got five FOUR spots available at this amazing rate, don’t wait, I have a feeling they are going to go fast!

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    Helping a Friend Through Their Divorce

    18 Feb 2014

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    You just got the call and you can’t believe it, or maybe you can now that you really think it through. A moment ago your friend announced that she is getting a divorce. A thousand things fill your mind. Shock, disbelief and an overwhelming urge to both run to her with bags of Oreo’s, Kleenex, and wine, and to hide from her because you have no idea what it is you are supposed to do to help her. There is no official etiquette that you are aware of to support someone going through a divorce. If you are particularly religious, you may even think that divorce itself is an unacceptable state of being. How do you manage your thoughts and beliefs and support your friend all at the same time?

    Get in your car, with our without the Oreo’s and get to her side. Divorce is like death. It is the end of a dream, a living breathing relationship that started out with the best of intentions and is now dead. If your friend called and said her spouse had died, you would most likely have known what to do. You would have kicked into gear and done whatever needed to be done to get her through to the other side. Whatever you would have done in that situation, do now. If you know your friend well enough that she would call you for support, chances are you know what the best thing you can do for her is. DO THAT.

    Sometimes being alone is very scary for a woman who is navigating a divorce. The first time she has to send her children to the ex for custody reasons, can be agonizingly hard. Offer to fill her time with an activity that you both enjoy. Let her know you are only a phone call away and there is an open invitation for the two of you to connect.

    If infidelity was part of the equation, she may be suffering from anger, bitterness and resentment. She may need to ramble incoherently in the months just after the divorce begins. Let her have a safe place to share her pain, fears, the what if”s and all of the drama. Help her identify if she needs counseling or help her recognize any self sabotage she may be too blind to recognize. A good friend knows the balance between venting and wallowing in self pity.

    It is natural for a woman to go through the cycle of grief during her divorce, get educated about what is normal so you can support her through each stage. The grief cycle begins with Denial and Isolation, then moves through to Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. It is natural to move back and forth between the stages, but ultimately she should land in the place of acceptance.  Help her cope by showing her how she is feeling is normal and appropriate. If you sense she is becoming a drama momma or not letting go, suggest that it may be time to get coaching or therapy.

    Provide practical safety nets. Women who are thrust into singleness without support, often become depressed and stuck instead of finding their inner badass. If  a woman never knew how to manage her home alone, how to do minor household repairs, cut and deliver her own Christmas tree, carry something heavy, pay the bills or other chores her spouse always took care of, she can become overwhelmed with the inadequacy of it all. If you have a husband who can teach her to do things for herself or how to solve her own problems, you are essentially teaching her to fish, rather than providing the fish. Nothing is more satisfying as a friend than to see your wounded sister rise from the ashes of her divorce. Your short-term assistance can awaken her confidence and show her that she can do this, whether she wanted the divorce or not.

    Take her to church. If your friend is a member of the Christian faith, take her to church and champion her spiritual support system. You will be amazed at the resistance Christians sense when they are shamed by the stigma of divorce. In less progressive situations, they can be made to feel down right dirty and unwelcome. Don’t even get me started on the craziness of such a notion! If she has never been to church, what better way to show her God’s grace and love than to welcome her into His house when she feels unwelcome and uprooted in her own.

    Do for her, what you would want done for you. I know, you can’t fathom the idea that your marriage could end, let me tell you what- I have had plenty of men and women get blindsided by an out of love spouse who decides they want out. Imagine for a moment you are in her shoes, what would make a difference to you? Go do that for her. It may be sitting beside her in silence and filling up the empty space, it may be cooking for her kids so she doesn’t have to think about something like that when all she wants to do is throw up. It may be forcing her to color her hair and change her sheets because you recognize that depression has set in. It may be telling her to quit being a drama queen and stop freaking out.

    The bottom line is, there is no rule book for helping a friend through a divorce. It is about compassion, being there, holding on and willingness to see it through to the other side. Life is hard sometimes, but your actions as a friend can make all the difference in her life.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Best Divorce Movie in a Long Time

    12 Feb 2014

    I was traveling home on Delta this week and I had about five hours to kill. In an effort to numb the pain of sitting upright for five hours, after four nearly sleepless nights, due to rabid networking with other on-line marketers in another time zone, I decided to watch a couple of movies and I came upon Enough Said.

    What I loved about this movie, aside from my long-standing man crush on James Gandolfini, was the honesty and depth it provided into the complex workings of divorce. In the movie, Eva (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus) meets Albert (Gondolfini). Her initial reaction is one of disinterest, but over time she warms up to him and finds that she is actually attracted to him despite the ideal she has in her head of what she wants a man to look like.

    Nearly simultaneously, she meets Marianne (played by Catherine Keener) she develops a girl crush on Marianne’s lifestyle and befriends her. Marianne confides to Eva about her ex husband whom she describes as horrible, with zero sexual capability and annoying habits that drove her insane.

    Next thing you know, well, actually I put it together pretty quickly, Eva realizes that Marianne’s ex is Albert. The guy she has enjoyed, thought was good in bed, and so far, hadn’t done anything too far off the normality curve.

    BUT

    all the negative talk about Albert by Marianne get’s into Eva’s head and it starts to affect her thoughts about him. What makes it worse, is she maintains relationships with both of them which ends up tragic.

    What I loved about this movie as it relates to divorce coaching, is that every relationship is about perspective. One man’s nightmare mate is another man’s answer to prayer. One woman’s disgusting pig is another woman’s knight in shining armor.

    We see divorce as a label meaning damaged goods. That from our broken marriages we emerge as rejected men and women who were deemed unlovable by our ex. That is Bullsh*t.

    Many people are incredibly aware of what repulsed their ex during their marriage. Albert confesses to Eva that some of the annoying crap his wife hated, he did in large portion to piss her off because she made him feel bad about himself.

    Every meeting  between singles has the ability to develop or diminish. Every new beginning offers the chance to reinvent yourself or to attract people who are better in alignment with your natural state.

    Eva jacked up her relationship with Albert because she adopted Marianne’s opinion of him because she was enamored with Marianne’s lifestyle. Ultimately, the story has a really good ending. It is worth a watch and will make you laugh out loud a time or two.

     

    From Boot Camp to Huffington Post Live

    16 Jan 2014

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    I’m not gonna lie, today started out on the scale of awesomeness somewhere near stepping on a Lego. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I am totally a morning person, but for me, morning isn’t morning until the sun is literally up and creating some sort of natural light. I mean, I will take overcast, stormy even, but the notion that a day starts before it is actually daylight, is, for lack of a better word, stupid.

    My weekday’s start pretty much the same. I go into my sons room and I wake him up. Never mind that he is 17 and perfectly capable of waking himself. He is a brooding teenager and the quiet moment each morning where I sit on his bed and stroke his hair until he wakes, rolls over and gives me the message that I am no longer needed is literally one of the only moments we share of parent/child intimacy. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything, which is obvious by my complaining about waking before the sun. I trade my comfort for my mommy and me moment with my son.

    Pretty much, after that sweet and brief moment, I am on my own until it is time for boot camp. Ahhhhh boot camp. I have a total love/hate relationship with boot camp. Truth be told, I fricken hate it! Loath it entirely. I hate the way I feel when I am doing burpees, I hate the way my boobs look in the mirror when I am forced to do anything that causes them to heave up and down. I hate how my shirt falls over my head when I am bent over in asinine positions. I hate how I get stray hairs on me from God-knows-who that has spent time on the mat before me. I hate that I am weaksauce to the max and it never seems to be easier or more fun.

    I love the results, I love the women who I go to boot camp with and I love the instructor though I hate her whistle and her stop watch. hmmmmmm is the good outweighing the bad here?

    This morning in particular I didn’t want to go. I started to talk myself out of it, which, to be honest, I do every single morning. I NEVER get up and think YAY! it’s boot camp day. But today, I especially didn’t want to go. I had stuff to do and I wanted to sit with a cup of coffee more than I wanted suck wind. Every day I try to talk myself out of it because there is nothing about it that is fun, but here is what I know about me that gets me going. I don’t want to fail and I know that I am in charge of my success.

    I can list a thousand reasons why I hate boot camp. Each of them is actually valid, but if I cave into that validity and allowed myself to stay home and sip coffee, pretty soon I would also allow myself to opt out of other things that are meaningful, but suck.

    Need to clean the house? Nahhhh, it makes me sneeze when I dust, I want to watch TV more.

    Need to pay the bills on time? Nahhhhh, I hate dealing with money, so I will just make a lunch date instead because I haven’t seen so-and-so in a while and maintaining good relationships is more important.

    Need to blog and grow my business? Nahhhhh, no one reads this stuff anyway, I think my heels feel rough and I need a pedicure.

    So, I did what I always do, this morning. I took my inwardly complaining diva into the dressing room and I forced her to put on that too-tight sports bra and those leggings that seem to fit a bit better than they did two months ago and I made her go to boot camp. I did the work and I got the hell outta there.

    No sooner did I get home, the phone rang and it was a staffer from Huffington Post Live. They were asking me back for another guest spot on Nancy Redd’s show. Standing there in my sweatiness I agreed to be on air in a couple of hours. Some hair and make-up later and I was ready to rock the divorce world. I had a great time in our Google Hang Out and shared my two cents on how to avoid getting married and divorced within a year. It does happen.

    In the quiet time between my boot camp butt kick and my sound check for Huff Post Live, it came to me that the part of me that goes to boot camp. That part of me that does stuff I don’t want to do, but do anyway because it is right. That is the same part of me that got me to the place that Huff Post Live wants to hear what I have to say. That part of me that wakes up before the sun and mothers my son, that part of me that forces me to blog, write content and give it away. That part of me that wrote four books in one year. That part of me that faced three divorces and so much more. That part of me that is good, stable, dependable and pretty fricken awesome- That’s something to be proud of.

    I know you want more from this life. I know you have it in you to get up and go get yours. It isn’t going to come and plop in your lap. It isn’t going to law of attract it’s way into being. It isn’t going to Publishers Clearinghouse it’s way into your bank account. You have to go get it. Simple choices, made regularly and against your inner preference not to, will create the life you want. If you make the choices, you end up with a life you well deserve.