This Thanksgiving I spent alone, mostly, but I did celebrate with three dogs….
Things started off fine. I was kind of giddy with my aloneness. I was happy to be in a fully cleaned house with absolutely zero responsibility to anyone other than the dogs. I smirked at the craziness I saw in the grocery store the days before thanksgiving and thought “neener, neener, neener, I don’t have to spend a dime on anything Thanksgiving-ish at all.” What a relief.
I’m in that weird in-between, where my kids aren’t married yet, but are coupled off and are doing things outside of the nucleus of what has been our home. I am happy for them to go out and spend their holiday in new and exciting ways. That’s why I had three dogs. I am grand-puppy sitting this weekend. Seeing as our family has shrunk so much, I wanted my kids off doing things and making memories. That’s a good thing. Selfless- but also kind of boring.
In an effort to keep busy, I participated in the local Turkey Trot. I had to take the grand-puppy because it would have been pupdemonium if I had left her home alone unsupervised. We had a blast walking with about a gazillion other people of all shapes and sizes and apparent ability levels. I carried her from time to time to keep her from getting too worn out. It was a good choice to get out of the house and do something fun.
Abbie, my grand-puppy and I before the Turkey Trot
Our participation ribbon
I recorded the Macy’s Day parade while I was gone and that left me with about an hour of entertainment when I got home. It was a good choice to pre-plan for the entertainment when I got home.
Long about two in the afternoon, when everyone else started posting pics of their feasts and the tipsy posts started popping up, I started to re-think my aloneness. Despite having about 200 channels on my television, there seemed to be nothing on, so I watched a marathon of Duck Dynasty. I wasn’t feeling as Happy, Happy, Happy as I thought when my tummy started to get hungry and I realized maybe I should have caved in and bought at least a yam or a made a bit of green bean casserole after all. It’s not like I didn’t have opportunity to go somewhere, but a sort of depression had set in and my legs were kinda stoved up from trotting with the turkey’s errr, other people earlier in the morning.
So I got up and I made pumpkin pie. From scratch, cuz I’m a badass like that.
Two servings of pie and one viewing of The Holiday on pay-per-view later things got worse…..
I got a gal bladder attack. Go me!
So I lay on my couch, with no one home but my dogs and I endured a gal bladder attack and thought to myself “Is this the worst Thanksgiving ever?”
What I realized was, for a moment, I allowed the depression that can come from being alone to make me feel lonely. I was no more alone yesterday than I am on other days. I was no more left out than I wanted to be. There was nothing about yesterday that meant I was missing out. I just let the thought that I might be convince me I was all alone. I can understand why so many people in the world fall apart over the holiday’s. It is like the world is the cool kids and if you didn’t get invited you are the reject. You’re not cool. You’re a loner.
There is literally only one thing that bothers me today about my personal Thanksgiving.
No leftovers. No stuffing. No green bean casserole. No yams. No potatoes. No turkey.
Here’s what else I don’t have today. No crazy calories to burn off, no overdrawn checkbook from buying food I can’t afford to feed people I don’t like.
I have a butt load of pie.
Your Divorce sucks, but pie makes it suck less.